Mudda and Daddee put buttew on dey toasts and dey cwumpets and in da mashedy tatoes and fings like dat. I doesn't get toasts OW cwumpets OW mashedy tatoes half as much as I shoulds, so Iz no expewt in da buttew-depawtments, except fow what Iz obsewbed in passings.
Dey keeps da buttew in dis speshul cage fow buttew-cwiminals:
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Dis mowning Mudda used de las' ob da buttew in da buttew cage on hew fwuit toast and shee washed be buttew cage and left it to dwy on da dwainew.
Shee left da noo packet ob buttew on de sideboawd to softens whilst da buttew cage was dwying and went off to doo somefings in de udda woom, leabing da buttew fwee to escape if it wanted!!!
It did want to escape. It did unwrap itself and some ob it did wanish. Maybee mowe ob it would hab escaped if Mudda had not comes back den and caught meez appwehending da buttew-cwiminal. Wid mee mouf.
Unfowtunatelys, da buttew-cwiminal weceibed some injuwies in de couwse ob de awwest in de fowm ob bite mawks and had to beez sent to da bin-hospital to wecobew. And my effowts....my effowts in keepings da kitchun sayfe fwom buttew-cwiminals went unwecognised. But Iz no do dis job fow da pwaise, da giwls, da monies...Iz do it to keep da kitchuns sayfe.
So until next time...watch yoos backs. And yoos buttews.
Hee hee watch that butter its a slippery customer!!
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