Da Weekend And Iz Will Tell You Why Mudda Doesn't Like Mondays...

Dis is da weekends noos:

I did hab cuddles on da sofa wiff mummy on Satuwday mowning. Dis was bewy out of da owdinawy as when weez say mowning, we weally means da weal mowning and not what mudda nowmally calls mowning, which is about half past 1 in de aftynoon. Dis was about 10am, which is pwoper mowning. 

I was bewy snuggley and comfy but den mudda did luwe mee into da kitchen wiff a piece of chickun...and den she did whip mee coat and hawness on mee so quickly I didn'ts eben know it was happening!

Den she did dwagged me owt and ober da fields and it was fwosty and I did meet up wiff mee two Schnauzer mates and wee did all gang up on mummy and jump up hew and steal da tweats fwom hew pocket and I did get mud all ober hew including on hew new coat and mittens and she was no happy.

Me and mee Schnauzer pals was happy dough because wee had da tweats and shee did not.

Den wee did meet two tewwiors called Mawio and Billy and I habs neber met dem before but wee did make fwiends bewy quickly and wee was wunning and playing and it was gweat fun. Mawio was bewy pweasd to meets mee and he did keep twying to do womantic fings to mee and I was confused and it made me excited and so I did jump up mummy again eben dough shee was still no happy fwom da fiwst time.

Den wee did come home and on da way back, wee saw a lady wee know called Kate who does hab fwee pet Dobewmans (deys much bigger den mee) and she was in hew caw and hew wegistwation plate did say dis: K8 DOBE and mummy sez dat was bewy cleber.

On Sunday, eberyfing was quite unewentful - mudda did buy me da bacons nylabone fwom da Pets At Home and I did take it fwom hew and put it on da floow and I has not touched it since :-(. Mudda fort I might not like it, bah humbug, so wee wills gib it to cousin Alfie instead, because hims will chew anyfing.

Mudda twied biting meez nylabone hewself and she said eben dough sheez a wegetablist, shee knows it doesn't taste like bacons, it tastes like plastics!!! Mummy sez da weason shee did hab to bite meez bone is becos it did look so plasticky, shee habs to see what it tastes like becos it did not look like it could taste like bacons.

And it did not.


Today is now da Monday and mudda is bewy cwoss because she did neawly poison us all wid plastic foomes and den she did hab to eat pizza and dat means she'll be a fatty bum-bum foweber.


Let meez helabowate:

Dis mowning, daddy did take out hims sammichbox and it did hab a sammich left in it dat had been in hims bag since Satuwday. Hims was going to thwow it away but mummy did say to keep it because she can feed it to a wowms dat she does keep in da Family Ciwcle bizkwit tub (dere is a weason but dis is no da time ow da place).

Hims put it on da side but mummy did say "No, not put it dere, DA DOG wills steal it whilst weez at wowk!" and den she did put da box in de oben....weez no know why she put it in de oben. Weez habs intewigated hewe and wee still no know why, da honly weason she can gib is dat it bewy eawly and hew does get confoosed when it so eawly.

Aftew coming home and aftew meez ebening walk, mudda did decide to cook da dinnew and SHE DID TUWN ON DA OBEN TO HEAT UP.

AND IT DID HEAT UP.

Mudda did notice when da stink ob plastic did ewade hew snooter and she was most cwoss because da sammich tub was melted out ober thwee shelfs and she did open all da windows and it was bewy cold. Because shee could no cook da dinnew now, hew and daddy did owdew da pizza and wee finks dats da silber lining but mummy was cwoss about dat too.

She was not so cwoss dat she gab me a piece dough.

Dis is de end ob meez post. Fank yoo fow weading and hewe is a pictuwe ob mee in an ex USSR militawy hat.

Good ebenings.